pieces of me ;

Um yeah, tonight was funny... it went a little something like this:
Lance: ya know, if you were my brother you wouldn't have any troubel coming home drunk, I could just be like mom "Luke is getting drunk with me"
(Luke was supposed to be my name if i was a boy)
Nat: what if your name was Llama?
Nat: you could just spit on someone and be like what???!! I'm fucking Llama, now what! What ya gonna do!

It was so hilarious, I shouldn't have dranke, i havne't drank in forever and now I'm fucked up.

I could have gone to Hayward with Sar and spent the night yesterday but my mom forgot about me babysitting in the morning, so I couldn't. It's all good though.

So, Lance is coming today. He is bringing his dvd player for me and a couple dvds... I really want to listen/watch the Portishead dvd, it's been awhile.

And today or tomorrow I was supposed to go to the Island to visit Alex, but he forgot he has to go to St. Paul monday, so we're just gonna wait until after that. I'm excited to hang out with him, I haven't seen him since school got out last year and it sucks not having him at school because he was my partner in crime at lunch! We used to sneak out and go get Little Ceasers and smoke all the cigarettes we could before we had to go to Human Relations, good times!

Spending another first hour class at WITC. I slept for along time. 7pm yesterday until 6am today. I saw Joe a little bit ago and he's going to give me a ride home after school. There was a sub in gym today, so I asked to go to Ms. Kruse's and she said yeah and marked me there so I came over here. Nothing better to do, really. I have a math test today, but I have five assignments to finish. Tomorrow is homecoming, oh joy. I never go, I never have and probably never will. I'm doing really well this year. That's odd considering it's me we're talking about. I don't feel too good. When I come over here, time flies, I'm gonna get going.

So, some of things we're true, fuck him. I'm not going to talk to him for awhile. He was everything to me, and I meant nothing to him. Fuck you. I don't need him but what I do need is someone to hang out with me this weekend. If not, I'll be sleeping all weekend. At this rate, it sounds really good.

I loved you once, I love you still, I always have and I always will.


I just found out I'm babysitting 9am - 3pm on Saturday. I'm babysitting my two little cousins, they can be annoying as fuck, but I'm getting paid. But I'm going to nap.

This is going to be a bitchy post about my oh so lovely fat Biology teacher, Ms. Gilbert, so if you don't want to hear it, don't read anymore then this.

I have decided that I'm not going to Biology anymore. Tomorrow when it’s time to go there, I’m going to talk to a guidance counselor because obviously, she and I can’t get along. I’m sick of the way she targets me all the time and I’m not the only one. I gave her my binder to grade and ince after all, it was a work time… she tells me to talk to her at lunch, before school or after school, I told her no, I’m busy and in class during that time, I don’t get there until the bell rings and I leave when the bell rings so I don’t have to be there any longer than I have too, none of the other teachers eI ended up getting a lower grade then Chris, when I do most of Chris’s homework, including his math, so if anything, we should have the same grade. So I went up to her to talk about it sver had a problem with me asking during a work time, it’s not like I’m really taking up much of their time to talk about an assignment I got an F for because I was fucking sick the day before!!!!

If you can’t tell I’m extremely pissed, she told me to get all the assignments and give them to her, but I wanted her to EXPLAIN things to be and why is that so fucking hard? I can’t possibly gather up everything I had questions about and get it back to her by the time school ended because there was like 5 minutes left… I’ve handed in every single assignment I’ve ever gotten and that’s the only class I’ve had trouble with, and no I don’t think it’s too hard for me, it’s the teacher that’s giving me the hard time. She’s always looking for ways to get me into trouble. Like this one day, I was being nice to her and we were talking and I told her that I was a smoker, none of the other teachers say bad things when I tell them that, most of them know anyways from last year when I always got caught smoking. So anyways, later that day I go to put my pen away and open up my purse like, 2 inches, then she tells me to bring my books and PURSE, no let’s not forget my purse… and then she tells me she saw my cigarettes, I said she didn’t because they were on the other side of my purse, so she brings me down to Ms. Kruse’s and she was on the phone, then the bell rings and I was going to set down my books and leaves when Mr. Liphart walks in… she says “we have something to talk to you about” and I said “no we don’t” and then she tells him what happened… and he knows I smoke and that I’m careful with my purse because he knows I have them all the time… but he doesn’t say anything, then she turns to me and says “Paige, give my your cigarettes” so I said hell no, school is over, I’m out. So I left and I go to school the next morning and the assistant principal tells me I’m getting a fine and a day of ISS for that stupid bullshit, Christ, kids bring fucking weed to school and they don’t even get into trouble.

I swear to god she’s a fucking moron. I’ve heard lots of bad things about her from various different people and they all tell me to do the same thing, because they’ve all had bad experiences with her, and this year I’m actually doing well. I’m doing better than I ever did in school, actually. And I’m not about to let her fucking ruin it for me, so therefore, I’m going to talk to Mr. Dude tomorrow about it, I’m not going to Biology, I’ll fucking go home instead.

Today I didn’t appreciate how she wouldn’t talk to me when it was a fucking work time to get our missing work in! I mean fucking christ, it’s really not that hard to tell me WHAT EXACTLY it was. Then she tells me if I had a problem with my grade, I should to talk to her about it, and I tried too, but she said she wasn’t going to argue, I was NOT arguing with her. Then she kept telling me to get away from her and I snapped and I yelled at her, so when I walk away, she gives the student teacher this smile while my back was turned, and I know because three people from different sides of the room told me. To top it off, Chris wanted to see my grade report to see what I had missing so he took it and she tells him to give it back to me because I didn’t want him to take it… so everyone looks at us, and I told her he could look at it, and she told him to give it back to me, so he did. I LET HIM LOOK AT IT. What’s so fucking wrong with that, and why is it such a big deal to her?

I’m not going tomorrow and that’s all there is to it. I could keep going on about all the things she’s said.

I'm absolutely in love with this song.

Anadivine - Cross Your Heart
Well this never gets easier,
each second I'm further away from,
home now. Fears
the well that soak my charade her
heart played ending of movies but then entail.
Ties that bind left a blanket of empty shells.

Cover me,
when im shivering.
Cause its cold like,
winter in upstate.
You've taken the warmth of my everyday.
Home away.....
From the home homecoming, I dont anticipate.
Cross your heart, your a liar, go fold your hands and walk away.
While I lie awake.
How I drug this mind to get some sleep unsuccessfully,
Watching you die alone would make you, the girl of my dreams.

But instead,
the radio marches parades at,
4 am. These anthems of hopeless heartache,
serves as a timeline of my life until I fail.
In slow motion I watch you now cut the sail.

Cover me,
when im shivering.
Cause its cold like,
winter in upstate.
You've taken the warmth of my everyday.
Home away.....
From the home homecoming, I dont anticipate.
Cross your heart, your a liar, go fold your hands and walk away.
While I lie awake.
How I drug this mind to get some sleep unsuccessfully,
Watching you die alone would make you, the girl of my dreams.

(reapeat 2x's)
Girl of my dreams.
Never gets easier, Never gets easier.

(guest singer - Claudio Sanchez)
As she coward with sound,
behind the walls that suround this.
Let go, will you feel it this time.
Could be that woman.
The one where I owe you my life.

GIRL OF MY DREAMS!!
(2x's)
Girl of my dreams.
(Girl of my dreams)
Never gets easier, Never gets easier.
GIRL OF MY DREAMS

Never gets easier, Never gets easier.

A little advice bitch: don't talk shit about someone you don't know.

Grow up Kristi, and stop trying to be something you're not. You tell people not to judge you and yet you piss and whine if someone judges you. You're a hypocrite, grow up and get over yourself.

Tonight was awesome!! Umm-- went to Applefest and I met Val finally!!! I knew her before Sar, but Sar met her first. It was so funny, we took her on the Tilt a Whirl and it was hilarious!! She screamed "ON MY GOD!~" "LET ME OFFFF!!!" "AHHHH IM GOING TO POOP" and it was just so funny at the time because of spinning so fast... speaking of speninng i'm tipsy. Sar is passing out, what a poor sport!

If you don't like me, don't act like you do. Get a life.

If you get blamed for being someone's reason for being a bad night by trying to put glitter on them, that's sort of um... pathetic. Grow up and learn to have some fun, christ.

Sar fell asleep. I'm bored. It's 3am, I'm glad I don't have school tomorrow. I have been getting into a lot of trouble lately. Sar came with me to school for 2 hours today and it was fun. I had a reason to not do any work, although I'm behind, heh, oh well.

I never know what to say in this thing.

Hi. I don't like that Jonas kid, and how lame is that he has to use a name other than his real name. You can dish it, but you can't handle it? And please, don't talk shit about someone you DON'T know. FAG!

I don't miss you at all.

I'm glad I have the friends I do ;)

I just dipped out of school to come to WITC to smoke a cigarette. I have about 20 minutes to just chill, then I have to go to math, which I haven't been there in how long. I'm so behind already. When I was going to smoke a cig a little bit ago, I ran into Joe. So Joe, if you still read this, it was good seeing you and I look forward to hanging out with you on Saturday, I think it was ;) Today there is a field trip for the college fair, I could just easily say I was going with them, I didn't turn in my slip, but I had it signed. This keyboard hurts my fingers when I type, maybe it's just because I'm not used to these computers. They take like 5 minutes just to boot up. I'm so tired and I went to bed at 11pm last night, I need more sleep! Cassy is coming over after school to burn some cds. Well I should be going.

Today was the best day ever. I hung out with Chris for around 4 hours, and it was fun.

http://anarchy-for-sale.org
Personal site for Sar and I.

Lennon came over this weekend, and we laid around my house, watched some tv, ate taco johns and it was just fun. Even though I am sick, he wouldn't kiss me (which is understandable), he makes me feel whole.

I don't want to go to school Monday, I'm just too lazy. I would rather stay home and sleep, but who wouldn't want too?

Tonight I was supposed to babysit my cousin's kid Dustin, he's so cute. But instead, I'm probably going to end up babysitting him on Wednesday, so that will be cool hanging out with him and getting paid for it, haha. Not much else is new really...